Every mom wants to know how to be a good mom. There is an immense insecurity of not measuring up. We are continually comparing ourselves to other moms. We compare our our clothes, our car, and home. I had a friend whose home was pristine, not one piece of paper was out in the open. I felt intimidated, even though I know I could never function that way.
There is this idea that a clear desk without stacks of paperwork is proof of an organized office. As an organizer, even I don’t find this to be true. Sure it looks nice to have a pristine desk but different people have different working styles. Some people like the file cabinet; others are like me need their paper to be placed in piles in plain sight, and that’s ok too. For “pilers” like me, using decorative baskets can make things less cluttered. The key is figuring out and setting up an organizing system that fits your needs and personality.
Comparison and self-consciousness shows up in all areas of our lives, especially with big life choices. I had friends who felt that they could never stay home with children because they couldn’t handle it. I was a stay at home mom who used to think I didn’t measure up because I didn’t have a career or a business like other friends of mine.
I even at times felt embarrassed when working moms asked me ‘What do you do?’ Something about answering, ‘I’m a stay-at-home’ made me feel less than. I don’t know why; it was my choice to stay at home, and I do not regret those years one bit. Although, I often like felt something was missing. I knew organizing was my gift and would someday be how I would make a living.
The simple truth is that you don’t need to be like the other people in your life. I started to look more closely at my own life and began to discover my strengths and purpose. For me my purpose at the time was raising my sons. You might think that you want someone else’s life, but what you need is to be comfortable working in your own gifting, your own talents.
Excerpts of this blog come from my 2nd book Uncluttered: discovering strength and purpose in the chaos of life.
Lisa Giesler, Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker